Friday, December 21, 2012

Dealing with it - with some help

Tip for the day: Don't wear eye makeup for the first few days following a breakup. It helps if you happen to be on leave from work and therefore, don't need to look and behave your best.

Despite the fact that I'm still hurting, feeling the sadness and the anger at things not working out, I'm feeling more and more certain that things will be fine and that there's no looking back.

For today, I'm experiencing the anger stage of grief. Anger at the fact that he wasn't the right person, anger at the fact that he wasn't the person I thought he was (hence all the fights that went something like "Why can't you do/say/think this, this and this?"), anger at the fact that I wasn't the right person for him (Hello, I'm like the most awesome person in the universe, how can I not be the sun, moon and stars to you? I didn't actually say that - but that's the kind of indignation that has been flaring up off and on today.)

It helps a lot to have friends or family around to listen to you rant, offer words of support, and distract you from your troubles.
Some hot chocolate lava cake helps, too.
When I'd finished cake and drinks with Gina, I'd only used half the small stack of napkins the waiter had so kindly left at our table when they brought the cakes - I was already teary shortly after we sat down. And by the time we were heading back to the car, it actually felt good to be 'back', with my ever faithful bestie assuring me that an ex-schoolmate was definitely chatting me up at the reunion last weekend when he kept asking me to tell him about this award I'd won but nobody outside my field of work (i.e. nobody around me that evening) gives a crap about.

It also helps that even the friends who are too busy to come spend the afternoon watching u cry keep your itchy texting thumbs busy - which also means his face (which still has that loving look that you'll never see from him again) no longer stares at you from the top of your Whatsapp chat list.

Here's to more adventures as a single woman.

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