Away from home, again

Tip for the day: You're kidding yourself if you think you're completely above the feeling of "I can't go here, here and here because we used to go to these places a lot and there are just too many memories". The only thing you can control is how much you'll let those emotions control your new (and better) life. 

The one most surprising thing I experienced in the past couple of weeks is how not lonely I felt. In fact, I felt less lonely than I have been in the past couple of months.

It was encouraging to find so many friends step up from the sidelines to make sure I never felt alone. And it felt so surprisingly good to know that nobody needed to be asked; nothing needed to be said beyond, "We broke up." It felt good to know that there were people in this world who genuinely cared about me, and whose actions remind me that I'd been working way too hard to receive whatever little love I'd gotten from the one I'd thought was my best friend and partner for life.

Feels like family
I'd also been dreading coming back to work. The thought of being away from the safety net of family and friends that had softened the blow of the past couple of weeks was terrifying.
On my drive back, I'd decided that I wouldn't make a big deal out of it and not go crying to my close friends from the office.

That lasted until after lunch. 

I hadn't planned on how I'd answer questions like,"How was your holiday? Did you drive back with your boyfriend?"

Shit. For a moment, I was stymied, considering how I'd answer this. 

Oh, what the hell. Be completely honest about it, I guess.

So I answered that colleague's question. Mercifully, after assuring me that she would be there if I needed to talk, she must've informed the rest not to ask me about my trip back, or at least what role my boyfriend played in it. By Saturday, at yet another colleague's wedding, which was beautiful, tasteful, and had pastors' speeches that made me sure my relationship hadn't had what it takes to turn into a marriage, I was again mercifully spared from any "So when's your turn?" questions.

Over a cup of coffee and some buns, another colleague talked me into finally feeling better about myself and condemning him to the cold barren place that all lousy/cowardly/testicle-less ex-boyfriends go to metaphorically die.

So, I guess I'm not so alone here after all.