Procrastination

It is now day 3 since I handed up my thesis. There's still 3 chapters to cover before my test next Friday, lots of grammar to get the hang of before my test on Monday, a resume to write, job applications to do, reports to write...and there something else I know I was supposed to do but I can't quite put my finger on it right now...oh right! Lab report due Tuesday.

What did I do today? Discussed current affairs with my friends over coffee, satisfied my noodle craving, and then went for a make up workshop.

What will I do after I write this? Take a nap.

How oh how will I get myself to go back to getting my work done?

Huge sigh of relief

Finally. After two consecutive Mondays of having to spend all day editing stuff just because my supervisor leaves things to the last minute, it's all finally done. My thesis has been submitted!

I've also found more reason to love me the way I am, even when some people consider me too pushy or anal. Because my supervisor had left everything to the last minute, she had 5 theses to look through on the day all our undergraduate theses were due. That's five really desperate people trying to get their theses approved before submission. Thank goodness my pushiness meant mine was getting read first. Which ultimately meant I was the only one of the five who actually handed it in on time. I'm so glad that's over.

To add to my relief, I've also finally turned down that job offer that I didn't really want but didn't quite know how to turn down either. No...I won't allow myself to settle for a company which... just hasn't made a very good impression..at all. But yes, I do realise that between wanting to graduate as soon as possible, and turning down this job, this blog might very well turn into one about my journey through joblessness for several months.

Choosing a Violin Teacher

I was recently asked to be part of a string quartet for an event at uni. It was to be a fairly standard and, if I may say so, boring piece : Canon in D. So cliche. But anyways, I went expecting a fairly standard rehearsal where we could just meet up once or twice before the performance, sort out whatever issues we have with getting all four parts together and that would be it. But when I got there, I found a cellist (the one who invited me) who couldn't seem to play in time (and that's an especially big problem for Canon in D), and two other violinists who just aren't at a level where they can easily play the piece. I actually felt pretty sorry for the two violinists. They've only been playing for a relatively short while and the cellist who got all of us together and picked the piece didn't seem to get it that she was just making them play something they couldn't realistically learn in such a short period of time. In the few days leading up to the rehearsal, where discussion on where and when it would be and stuff, I'd also found her demeanor to be somewhat unpleasant - the sort who wasn't into explaining anything properly. Just short clipped answers.
What bothered me most was when I asked the two volinists how long they'd been playing and they told me two years, the cellist pipes in that well so has she and now she's already got her Grade 5 and is teaching! While the fact that she learned much faster than the other two is pretty impressive, the thought that dominated was OMFG this girl is TEACHING?!
I just couldn't get over the fact that this somewhat unpleasant person with little ability or patience to help slightly weaker peers, who couldn't recognise when a piece was not of a level appropriate to their abilities and frankly, limited ability herself, was teaching! The worst part was when she found out I was teaching too, she basically said "Ooh can I take lessons from you? Now my boss wants me to take the Grade 8 exam." Wth?
So here's the thing. For anyone who's looking for a teacher, and especially parents who are looking for one for their young child, it's always important to take not of a few things:
First of all make sure your teacher is qualified! This may not necessarily mean paper qualifications although that's the easiest way to judge if your teacher is qualified. It would be best if he/she has a degree, although in some places that's pretty hard to come by. In that case a diploma such as the ATCL would also be good. Extensive experience performing or teaching may also be useful. Also make sure that the teacher is pleasant and is willing to explain or repeat stuff when your child can't get it the first time around.
I can't stress how often people neglect to consider these two very simple things when choosing a teacher. Most just go to the first teacher they find. And it's alarming how many people so readily send their kids to under-qualified teachers like this girl. You don't want to do this because as I already saw during our rehearsal, such limited musical ability and knowledge, coupled with an inability to recognize when others are struggling with a piece that just isn't the right level for them, means that you've got a teacher who doesn't know how to decide what repertoire to work on with the student and doesn't see what the problems faced by the student are. You'll want a teacher who knows how to correct mistakes instead of just blindly having the student repeat something until they hopefully stumble across the correct way to play.
Another worrying thing is how some parents also think that they can just settle for any teacher when their child starts learning to play a violin, and then plan to move to a better teacher if the child shows potential. While this makes sense in some ways, it's still important to find a teacher who is sufficiently capable of bringing out whatever potential your child has in the first place. Or at least, a teacher who isn't going to allow your child to develop bad playing habits that will be hard to undo later on. Unpleasant teachers may also just make your child hate the instrument or even music altogether.
Agh can't stand unethical people who teach even though they're not good enough to do so!

colossal.waste.of.my.time

I wonder if all interviews are like this. I'm guessing not. After all, if it's a job that lots of people want and the company is in a position to ask "Why should I pick you over the other [insert huge number here] people who are lining up outside the door?", I doubt the interview would go this way.
In the interview I went for the other day, it wasn't nearly this bad. It was for a sales job, which I'm not too keen on. But by the end of the interview, I actually had quite a bit of respect for the guy interviewing me. I could see why he was the boss. He'd done a good job of selling me that job!
But today, I went for another sales job interview. (Why on earth do these people keep calling me for sales jobs? Bear in mind, these are all happening at career fairs in my uni...I'm not really seeking these sales jobs out.) And really by the end of the interview, I just felt like telling the guy, "Thank you for that colossal waste of my time." It was a crummy job. With lousy benefits. The first annoying thing was that the person who called me up yesterday to ask me to go for the interview told me it was sales and marketing. Fair enough. I went today. The sleazy looking fellas at the fair couldn't be bothered to answer my questions, and just basically told me to sit down and fill in the form - which was pretty much a questionnaire. Then I had to follow one of them to the other exam hall where interviews were being conducted. I don't know if it's my ciak-ness or if he's just really desperate for employees or if he's just a pretty lousy salesperson. I ended up being the one asking the questions. And he ended up being the one with the less than satisfactory answers. And it wasn't even a sales and marketing job as in an actual sales and marketing job. It's the kind of job I'd put in the category of being an Avon lady or a Tupperware member and so forth. Fun if it isn't your only source of income...or you work so super hard at something that isn't particularly...chic. I can't think of a better word to describe it.

Woman on Top

I always knew it existed out there in the big, bad world. But being in a girls' school kind of shields you from it for the first 17 years of your life. Especially if you've got no brothers. When you're also already a minority in a school where the existing policies ensure there are fair opportunities for girls, it also didn't seem that apparent to me.
But now, for the first time ever, I'm starting to feel what it's like to be in a situation where, whether the people doing so realise it or not, I'm being given less respect due to my gender. It hasn't happened in awhile, I think - this having a woman at the top of the ladder in this particular society.
I'll admit that perhaps my leadership skills are not infallible. Of course there's room to grow. But it doesn't excuse blatant disregard for my say in decision making, not bothering to show up on time for meetings I organize but expect me to be early for the less important ones they do, treating me like I'm just someone to do their bidding for them. As much as I'm aware of my own shortcomings, I cannot help but be quite convinced that such behaviour is just misogyny. Why? Well, my predecessor was even more disagreeable to all of us than I am. Back when I was their equal, I was included in decision-making, and while there were already some vestiges of sexist behaviour, it was not so obvious. And as much as they disrespected and didn't like the previous guy, they didn't dare climb over his head, and act as if they were the ones who got to call the shots.
Such chauvinistic behaviours really outrage me. So many wrongs in the world I wish I could make right: animal abuse, child neglect, poverty, education...well this is on the list, too.
And the most frustrating part is I'm not too sure how to deal with it. And by deal with it I mean desiccate the stupid little sausage-ego-fest and pound them to dust.
On one hand, I could easily shrug and say "Well, you losers are still going to be here, while I've graduated and moved on. Happy screwing yourselves over with your shitty attitudes." But then, I realised this won't be the last time I'll encounter this. If anything, the next time I'm put in such a situation, the stakes would be a lot higher. So yes, I'm still thinking of ways to crush their little boy-egos.

In the meantime, some interesting stuff I found when googling this issue:
http://blog.monicaobrien.com/deal-with-sexism-in-the-workplace/
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/03/18/are-we-there-yet.html
http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/key-debates/sexism-in-the-workplace-returns-d18004.html

The confession

The Confession: The typical peak of a love story where one confesses their love for the other. To be used wisely at the appropriate point of the relationship.
In a Relationship: The relationship status used to indicate you are, in archaic terms, going steady.

In reality, people often misuse The Confession and the idea of being in a relationship. It was a strange realization I recently had. Someone asked me how many relationships I'd been in and how long each had lasted. Of all my high school misadventures, I realized, I had only one proper relationship. The other two who are often referred to as my exes by most people who had witnessed those relationships growing exponentially only to quickly crash and burn, I'd consider as people who had misused The Confession. The rest had even more grossly misused the confession and had just scared me right off.

Here's the thing about many people I see around me. Almost everybody seems to be looking for love. To draw a How I Met Your Mother analogy, they're all Teds and by comparison, I'm a friggin Barney! Incredulous? Yes, anyone reading this who knows me personally might have fallen off their chair and possibly died of asphyxiation because they can't stop laughing long enough to breathe.
So, it's a lovely world to be in, isn't it? There are no sluts/tramps/man-whores to be found anywhere and everybody wants to find a serious long-haul relationship. How sweet.
Not.

I know a girl whom everyone considers such a sweet innocent darling. Nobody could ever possibly even imagine her being anything but angelic. She's only just slept with everyone she's ever dated. And she hasn't gone long between relationships since she was 16. But of course she's sweet and innocent, she's only ever slept with guys she thinks she really loves and wants to marry and have kids and grow old with. And she only breaks up with them when they're no longer conveniently in the same place as her and therefore no longer conveniently available to satisfy any cravings.


Girl likes guy; gives him The Confession. Guy freaks out, says no. Then he realises he wants to get to know her. She's nice, and he kind of likes her. He's just not really all that sure he wants to be in a committed relationship. But to even just go out with her, it's going to take a counter-confession. And to make up for initially saying no, he throws in the L word for good measure. She freaks out and wants to run away.

This heartbreaker didn't mind getting to know guys who showed an interest. Didn't mind going on a date or two. When things go too far and you're not ready, you say no and you stop. She earned a reputation for being a tease and a flirt and is immortally known by friends of one of her exes (some of whom are now her close friends), as the girl who stomped on *insert his name here*'s heart.

So here's what I'm trying to say. I'm not trying to judge anyone. Everyone's entitled to live their life according to their own ideals, moral standards and opinions. But let's be a bit more honest about the facts. People are overlooking the idea of a date. Just the thrill of being into someone and having that someone show interest in you, too. You go out to dinner, watch a movie, wonder if you should hold hands. You talk to each other and see each other, discover foibles and idiosyncrasies after which if you still find them endearing, might consider talking about editing your relationship status.

Why insist that you love someone you barely know and call yourselves a couple, even if you know you're not there yet? Why does the negative label to go the one who dares to say no instead of the one who really just likes getting busy but calls it something it's not.

Creepy

I hate to think that my outlook is anything but cosmopolitan. But there's this guy whose somewhat extreme 'chivalry' that creeps me out. At first all the foreign post graduate students in my lab seemed pretty unfriendly. But after a couple of months, I've gotten pretty used to them and most of them are pretty nice. But then just before the break last week, I met this other guy. He isn't from my lab but is buddies with one of those in my lab. He's kinda cute but hell creepy.

It started the last Friday before the break. I was alone in the lab. And suddenly this guy walks in to get some super pure water thingy that's dispensed in my lab. While I'm busy trying to take my samples at regular time intervals, he decides to introduce himself to me and keeps talking and talking about what he does at the school bla bla bla. He gives me his card and tells me to call him if I ever have any questions or need any help. Even asks to add me on Facebook, and of course I tell him I"ll add him since he's given me his card. Here's this postgraduate fella trying to be nice and helpful to undergrads. Who am I to burn that bridge? But this was definitely making me feel a bit crowded. He even kept talking while I was trying to concentrate on my experiment. Anyways after a little while he leaves. And I thought I was finally rid of him.

I was. Until about 2 hours later. I'd just finished my analysis in the instrument room and was on my way back to the lab when who should walk out of one of the doorways just around the corner? Him!!! Agh! It's 5pm on the last day before a break. There's no one else around and I'm stuck with him! He follows me all the way to the lab, talking talking talking... saying stuff like "You're still here! You shouldn't be working. Your lecturer should. Pretty girl like you shouldn't be working so hard." Ick. Then as I'm cleaning up he stands there watching me, talking, asking me about myself. Urgh!!! At one point I actually said he didn't have to wait for me. But he did. So I quickly dumped everything into my locker without washing and wanted to get out of there as quick as possible. He waited until I was done, turned off the lights and all and locked the door for me. While it can be interpreted as just niceness...it was just damn creepy. He even walked me all the way downstairs. *shudder*

The other day he came in while another male friend was with me in the lab. He didn't say a word to me. But the next day when I was alone, he proceeded to talk to me again even when it was apparent that I was really damn busy with my experiment. This time I knew better. I made as little eye contact as possible and gave really short distracted answers.

I know in some ways I sound like I'm unappreciative of gentlemanly behaviour. But really, you just had to be there to get what I mean.